People don’t flake because they don’t care — they flake because they’re overwhelmed, conflicted, and pulled in too many directions.In our interviews and baseline studies, we found that most people genuinely want to be good friends and follow through. But their decisions are shaped by powerful human and environmental forces: academic pressure, fatigue, anxiety, people-pleasing, and constantly shifting priorities. Students often say yes in the moment because they don’t want to disappoint someone, don’t want to seem antisocial, or feel swept up in the excitement of the group — even when they’re already overcommitted.

Later, when the day of the plan approaches, reality hits. They start to reassess: Do I have too much work? Am I too tired? Do I actually want to go? Will everyone else be there? This over-analysis creates emotional friction and guilt, and backing out or disappearing becomes easier than navigating an awkward or disappointing conversation.

What looks like flakiness is actually a clash between good intentions and competing priorities — where people struggle to balance honesty, energy, and social expectations in a high-stress, hyper-social environment.